CATHEXIS

by Tallan, M.D.

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04:23
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03:49
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04:03
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about

Written in 2014 and recorded in 2015, this album was set to be released in the summer of 2015 but, due to various unfortunate circumstances, the album was delayed again and again. It is now here in full for your listening pleasure.

credits

released June 1, 2017

Written by Tallan Byram, Calder Mckenna, Ian Penner, and Jay Holdsworth
Recorded and produced by Siegfried Meier at Beach Road Studios
Mastered by Chris Gehringer and Troy Glessner

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Tallan, M.D. Toronto, Ontario

The doctor is in.

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Contact Tallan, M.D.

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Track Name: Electric
Electro-magnetic
Synthetic cathexis
Infectious perspective
Reckless perfection

Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Your kiss is electric

I love the spark of our avatars
The clicking of our star-crossed hearts
The sapphire glow of strangers in the dark. dark, dark
I love the way you type my name
Dot d-d-dot, smiley face
Pull me close and push me far away

Plug into me baby
Your digital love will save me
Play along with your analog loving
Double tap that, don’t you stop
Lock, stock, and drag and drop
Turn me on with your silicon loving

Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh your kiss is so)

Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Your kiss is electric

Make love to me in electric ocean
Defragment my disappointment
Close my eyes and see
Trick trick trick

Plug into me baby
Your digital love will save me
Play along with your analog loving
Double tap that, don’t you stop
Lock, stock, and drag and drop
Turn me on with your silicon loving

Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh your kiss is so)

Electro-magnetic
Synthetic cathexis
Infectious perspective
Reckless perfection

Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Your kiss is electric

Plug into me baby
Your digital love will save me
Play along with your analog loving
Double tap that, don’t you stop
Lock, stock, and drag and drop
Turn me on with your silicon loving

Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh)
Electric (Oh your kiss is so)

Electro-magnetic
Synthetic cathexis
Infectious perspective
Reckless perfection
Track Name: Save me from myself
Got myself too drunk again
Got myself into this mess
I'm too ugly to be this sick
And I'm running out of dirty tricks

Oh
Here on the floor I'm yours
In your control
Don't leave me alone
I've never gone this far before

Oh baby
You're driving me so crazy
And I want you to be my baby
Won't you try?
Save me from myself tonight

Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Won't you try
Save me from myself tonight

You could do better
I could do worse
You want it all
I want it first

Oh
Nowhere to go
And more in your control
I'm yours
Love is war
I've never got so close before

Oh baby
You're driving me so crazy
And I want you to be my baby
Won't you try?
Save me from myself tonight

Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Won't you try
Save me from myself tonight

Sweet like sex and cherry cola
Warm as dreaming California
Wet as the spot on your father's bed
Where you took me from me
Wet like sex and cherry cola
Sweet as dreaming California
Warm as the spot on your father's bed
Where you took me from me

Oh
Here on the floor I'm yours
In your control
Don't leave me alone
You've never got so close before

Oh baby
You're driving me so crazy
And I want you to be my baby
Won't you try?
Save me from myself tonight

Oh baby
You're driving me so crazy
And I want you to be my baby
Won't you try?
Save me from myself tonight

Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Won't you try
Save me from myself tonight

Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Baby
Ah ha
Won't you try
Save me from myself tonight
Track Name: Dance with darkness
Hello Darkness
I’ve cut myself on honey’d lips
Just one more kiss of the bottle

And I’m a child again
I’m there with all my friends
We’re invincible and green
We’re pure and we are free

I’m on the run
Don’t know who I’ve become
But I find myself alone
I’m on the drugs
cause I don’t want the love
That found me long ago

A dance with darkness
A dance alone
A dance with darkness
In lamplit snow

I’ve had enough
I’ve got these cuts that just won’t shut
Too many fucks of the needle

And I’ll never be a child again
But when I’m wasted I pretend
That we’re invincible and green
We’re together and we’re free

Oh Oh Oh

I’m on the run
Don’t what I’ve become
But I find myself alone
I’m on the drugs
cause I don’t want the love
That found me long ago

A dance with darkness
A dance alone
A dance with darkness
In lamplit snow

And It happened oh so slowly
That it took me by surprise
I thought I was just so lonely
And it helped me pass the time
Now I’m staring at the ceiling
And I think I’m beyond help
And I’m borrowing a feeling
From tomorrow, from myself

Oh Oh Oh

I’m on the run
Don’t what I’ve become
But I find myself alone
I’m on the drugs
cause I don’t want the love
That found me long ago

I’m on the run
Don’t what I’ve become
But I find myself alone
I’m on the drugs
cause I don’t want the love
That found me long ago

A dance with darkness
A dance alone
A dance with darkness
In lamplit snow

Oh Oh Oh
Track Name: Lost with you
NA NA NA

This can’t be right
I should know better by now
You’re the day to my night
The sight to my sound

In every twist
Is a little bit of heaven
In every kiss
Lives some beautiful venom

Don’t know what we are
But I am

Lost in your eyes again
It don’t make no sense
Got me all askew
I can’t keep still I can’t move
But I’ve fallen hard
You’ve got my my stolen heart
There’s nothing left to do
But be lost with you

Na Na Na
But be lost with you

I didn’t know
What true love was
So fast so slow
Just you, me, and us

If this is wrong then let’s be wrong
If I am weak then we are strong

But don’t know what I’ll do, but I am

Lost in your eyes again
It don’t make no sense
Got me all askew
I can’t keep still I can’t move
But I’ve fallen hard
You’ve got my my stolen heart
There’s nothing left to do
But be lost with you

Na Na Na
But be lost with you

I’m lost with you
Hey Yeah
No one’ll find us two
Hey Yeah

But kiss me apart under smiling stars
You’re the one I love that’s who you are

Don’t care what we do, I’m just

Na Na Na
I am lost with you
Na Na Na
I am, I am, I am

Lost in your eyes again
It don’t make no sense
Got me all askew
I can’t keep still I can’t move
But I’ve fallen hard
You’ve got my my stolen heart
There’s nothing left to do
But be lost with you

Lost with you!
Lost with you!

But kiss me apart under smiling stars
You’re the one I love that’s who you are

Don’t care what we are, We are

Lost
Track Name: Experiment
You only kiss me when you're drunk
I wish I wasn't so hung up
Got me under your spell
Oh well

You've only gone for girls before
Every mixed message leaves me torn
Could you love me?
I can't tell
Oh well

When you're kissing me
It's like my first time
When you say my name
My world's on fire
Is this a one-way street?
Some sweet fantasy?

Well I want you
I don't know if you could want me too
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I wish I was different

I love you
I don't know if you could love me too
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I don't want to be an experiment

Oh no

I can't keep going on like this
Hurting myself on every kiss
Should I stay or should I go?

All that I want is something real
And I don't know if you can feel
How much of me you own

But you hold my hand at all the right times
Try to think but I can't, I'm just too high
Oh a fool can dream
Such sweet fantasies

Well I want you
I don't know if you could want me too
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I wish I was different

I love you
I don't know if you could love me too
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I don't want to be an experiment

I don't want to be Frankenstein's monster
All alone; just there when you want it
I don't want to be an experiment
No.
But if you think you could
I'd love you, yes I would
Cause I can't be no different

When you're kissing me
It's like my first time
When you say my name
My world's on fire
Is this a one-way street?
Some sweet fantasy?

I love you
I don't know if you could love me too
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I don't want to be an experiment
Track Name: Let's pretend
I wish a wish I wish the most
That you were here and not some lonely ghost
Old friend
This time
I’ll try
Let’s pretend
That you’re here in my arms
You forgive me all my sins
And these cracks in my heart
Are how the light gets in
You’d say, “I love you.”
I’d say, “I love you, too.”

Oh Yeah

Ain’t no walks on eggshells now
Make love on imaginary ground
And I’ll cry
You’ll laugh
And ask
Me why
Cause I’m here, in your arms
I forgive you leaving me
Now you’re back, we can start
To be what we should have been
I’ll say, “I love you.”
You’ll say, “I love you, too.”
And we’ll stay here forever
Alone.
Together.

Oh Yeah

I can see it
Oh so clear
I need you now
I need you here
Under these crossing stars
Here in the dark
We’re all we are
We’re all we are
Here in the dark
Here we are
All in the dark

I wish a wish I wish the most
That I were here and not some lonely ghost
Old friend
This time
You’ll try
Let’s pretend
That you’re here in my arms
I forgive you all my sins
And these cracks in my heart
Are how the light gets in

Oh Yeah
Track Name: Siobhan
Starlight
Hide your fires
Don’t try to see my mind tonight
Don’t hear my heart

Fair is foul
Foul is fair
I’ll see you when I get nowhere
Beyond the dark

I’m riding on the carousel
Of all my sins remembered well
Oh
I am in blood
I’ve lost all my pretty ones
Lost myself in ashes and in mud
What dreams may come

Nothing I can do
That I can do
The devil speaks the truth
He speaks the truth

I want I want I want I want
Total eclipse
I want I want I want I want
To wake up from this

Oh

Dancing
With the ghosts
They’re laughing
at all my hopes
and dreams, a cruel cold shriek

Shadows
Yellow with tobacco
All alone I’m hollow
And I can’t breathe


Nothing I can do
That I can do
The devil speaks the truth
He speaks the truth

I want I want I want I want
Total eclipse
I want I want I want I want
To wake up from this

Some days I can see the sun through acid rain but today
All I see is dark
I see you, through a fog, I miss you, I wish I could come with you
with all my heart
But today is not my day
Today is not my day

I’m riding on the carousel
Of all my sins remembered well
Oh
I am in blood
I’ve lost all my pretty ones
Lost myself in ashes and in mud
What dreams may come

Nothing I can do
That I can do
The devil speaks the truth
He speaks the truth

I want I want I want I want
Total eclipse
I want I want I want I want
To wake up from this
Track Name: Out of love; onto my face
I said, “Let’s talk.”
You said, “About what?”
And I saw your heart break before my eyes

Over coffee
I said, “It’s over, I’m sorry,
but I love you too much to lie.”

Baby I didn’t mean to
I didn’t want it go this way
You know the truth is just
I fell out of love and onto my face

(Ooh ooh)

I know that I hurt you
But maybe I don’t deserve you
You’ll find someone to treat you right

You know I’ll understand
If you don’t don’t wanna be my friend
But a piece my heart is yours and a piece yours is mine

Baby I didn’t mean to
I didn’t want it go this way
You know the truth is just
I fell out of love and onto my face

(Ooh ooh)
(Ooh ooh)

Now we’re all out of kisses
Of midnight laughs and this is
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
But if you love me baby
Set me free and one day
You’ll find the one that’s out there, he’s out there for you

I won’t forget you
I don’t regret you
I hope you feel the same

Baby I didn’t mean to
I didn’t want it go this way
You know the truth is just
I fell out of love and onto my face

I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love

(Ooh ooh)
(Ooh ooh)
(Ooh ooh)
Track Name: Folie à deux
I don’t know why I don’t know why I don’t know why
You take away my mind
Babe you light my fire
And you’re mine m-m-m-mine

Is it so crazy to be crazy for you babe
You keep the dark away
with my name on your lips
Shut me up with your kiss

Oh Oh Oh Oh
The stars shine for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
The city sings for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Their fires dance for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
And our folie a duex
Oh Oh Oh
Our folie a duex

Lamb for the slaughter you’re the water of my soul
And when you take control, I say no, I say no
But baby I want more
M-m-more more more
I say

N-n-no
D-D-don’t
But I want it want
Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh (I said)
N-n-no
D-D-don’t
But I want it want
Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh (I said)

(2 bars) I said

Oh Oh Oh Oh
The stars shine for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
The city sings for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Their fires dance for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
And our folie a duex
Our folie a duex

Babe be my Bonnie
I’ll be your Clyde
My Sexy Sadie
So wrong it’s right
So right
Baby

Oh Oh Oh Oh
The stars shine for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
The city sings for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Their fires dance for us
Oh Oh Oh Oh
And our folie a duex
Our folie a duex

N-n-no
D-D-don’t
But I want it want
Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh
N-n-no
D-D-don’t
But I want it want
Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh
Track Name: Eyes of blue
Met him on a trip to the city
Hungry with an easy smile
Told me that he wanted to kiss me
Told me that he liked to play with fire

He held me there and when I got scared
He stroked my hair, said I love you
On the ground with all the stars around
He held me down with those

Eyes of blue
Eyes of blue
Those eyes of blue
Those eyes of

Ha (Oh-Oh)

Had him in the dark of an alley
Savage kisses, rattling bones
Any way he wanted he had me
When he was done
He got up to go

He left me there and when I got scared
He pulled my hair said
Fuck you too.
Walked away and to this day
I still recall those
Eyes of blue
Eyes of blue
Those eyes of blue
Those eyes of blue

Ha (Oh-Oh)

Don’t you tell anyone
Don’t you tell anyone, no
Don’t you tell anyone
Don’t you tell anyone, no

Saw him on a midsummer evening
He leered at me and pulled me down
Said he never wanted to leave me
Said that he wanted me around

He held me there and when I got scared
He stroked my hair, said I love you
On the ground with all the stars around
He kept me down with those

Eyes of blue
Eyes of blue
Those eyes of blue
Those eyes of blue
Track Name: These days
These days I’m so low
I don’t know what to do
It feels so different here without you

These days I’m so down
I don’t remember smiling
And I pray that all this time you’ve just been hiding

At night I sit and wonder where you’ve gone
And why you’ve had to stay away so long
And though I know you’ll never hear this song
I’ll sing it through
‘Cause honestly since you’ve been gone I forgot how to breathe
There is no laughter; no joie de vivre
Now that all that’s left of you is memories

These days I’m so drunk
I don’t know how to cry
I see no colours; no open sky

These days I’m so fucked
I don’t remember why
Then I hear your little voice in my mind

At night I sit and wonder where you’ve gone
And why you’ve had to stay away so long
And though I know you’ll never hear this song
I’ll sing it through
‘Cause honestly since you’ve been gone I forgot how to breathe
There is no laughter; no joie de vivre
Now that all that’s left of you is memories
Track Name: Fall like stars
Oh Oh
Oh Oh

I see the shadows fall around you
I can feel you try and I know you do
I know nothing I say, takes away this colour of blue
But whatever you need baby you got me and I’ll get you through
(You know)

I will I will
Here in my arms you’ll stay until
We fall like stars (and I will)
Kiss you Kiss you
Be everything you need me to
We’ll fall like stars

Oh Oh
Oh Oh

This isn’t all that you are
You’re so much more than this blue dark
I know that you’re numb, that you want to be up, with all you got
You’ve got me too, yeah you do
(You know)

I will I will
Here in my arms you’ll stay until
We fall like stars (and I will)
Kiss you Kiss you
Be everything you need me to
We’ll fall like stars

Oh Oh Oh

This is not forever
It’s worse before it’s better
This is not forever
We’ll beat this together

More than this I’m proud of you
You feel the heat of the sun, the weight of the moon

You will
You will
Here in your arms I’ll stay until
We fall like stars (and I will)
Kiss you
Kiss you
Be everything you need me to
We’ll fall like stars
We’ll sing

Oh Oh