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CATHEXIS

by Tallan, M.D.

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1.
Electric 05:19
Electro-magnetic Synthetic cathexis Infectious perspective Reckless perfection Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Your kiss is electric I love the spark of our avatars The clicking of our star-crossed hearts The sapphire glow of strangers in the dark. dark, dark I love the way you type my name Dot d-d-dot, smiley face Pull me close and push me far away Plug into me baby Your digital love will save me Play along with your analog loving Double tap that, don’t you stop Lock, stock, and drag and drop Turn me on with your silicon loving Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh your kiss is so) Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Your kiss is electric Make love to me in electric ocean Defragment my disappointment Close my eyes and see Trick trick trick Plug into me baby Your digital love will save me Play along with your analog loving Double tap that, don’t you stop Lock, stock, and drag and drop Turn me on with your silicon loving Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh your kiss is so) Electro-magnetic Synthetic cathexis Infectious perspective Reckless perfection Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Your kiss is electric Plug into me baby Your digital love will save me Play along with your analog loving Double tap that, don’t you stop Lock, stock, and drag and drop Turn me on with your silicon loving Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh) Electric (Oh your kiss is so) Electro-magnetic Synthetic cathexis Infectious perspective Reckless perfection
2.
Got myself too drunk again Got myself into this mess I'm too ugly to be this sick And I'm running out of dirty tricks Oh Here on the floor I'm yours In your control Don't leave me alone I've never gone this far before Oh baby You're driving me so crazy And I want you to be my baby Won't you try? Save me from myself tonight Ah ha Baby Ah ha Baby Ah ha Won't you try Save me from myself tonight You could do better I could do worse You want it all I want it first Oh Nowhere to go And more in your control I'm yours Love is war I've never got so close before Oh baby You're driving me so crazy And I want you to be my baby Won't you try? Save me from myself tonight Ah ha Baby Ah ha Baby Ah ha Won't you try Save me from myself tonight Sweet like sex and cherry cola Warm as dreaming California Wet as the spot on your father's bed Where you took me from me Wet like sex and cherry cola Sweet as dreaming California Warm as the spot on your father's bed Where you took me from me Oh Here on the floor I'm yours In your control Don't leave me alone You've never got so close before Oh baby You're driving me so crazy And I want you to be my baby Won't you try? Save me from myself tonight Oh baby You're driving me so crazy And I want you to be my baby Won't you try? Save me from myself tonight Ah ha Baby Ah ha Baby Ah ha Won't you try Save me from myself tonight Ah ha Baby Ah ha Baby Ah ha Won't you try Save me from myself tonight
3.
Hello Darkness I’ve cut myself on honey’d lips Just one more kiss of the bottle And I’m a child again I’m there with all my friends We’re invincible and green We’re pure and we are free I’m on the run Don’t know who I’ve become But I find myself alone I’m on the drugs cause I don’t want the love That found me long ago A dance with darkness A dance alone A dance with darkness In lamplit snow I’ve had enough I’ve got these cuts that just won’t shut Too many fucks of the needle And I’ll never be a child again But when I’m wasted I pretend That we’re invincible and green We’re together and we’re free Oh Oh Oh I’m on the run Don’t what I’ve become But I find myself alone I’m on the drugs cause I don’t want the love That found me long ago A dance with darkness A dance alone A dance with darkness In lamplit snow And It happened oh so slowly That it took me by surprise I thought I was just so lonely And it helped me pass the time Now I’m staring at the ceiling And I think I’m beyond help And I’m borrowing a feeling From tomorrow, from myself Oh Oh Oh I’m on the run Don’t what I’ve become But I find myself alone I’m on the drugs cause I don’t want the love That found me long ago I’m on the run Don’t what I’ve become But I find myself alone I’m on the drugs cause I don’t want the love That found me long ago A dance with darkness A dance alone A dance with darkness In lamplit snow Oh Oh Oh
4.
NA NA NA This can’t be right I should know better by now You’re the day to my night The sight to my sound In every twist Is a little bit of heaven In every kiss Lives some beautiful venom Don’t know what we are But I am Lost in your eyes again It don’t make no sense Got me all askew I can’t keep still I can’t move But I’ve fallen hard You’ve got my my stolen heart There’s nothing left to do But be lost with you Na Na Na But be lost with you I didn’t know What true love was So fast so slow Just you, me, and us If this is wrong then let’s be wrong If I am weak then we are strong But don’t know what I’ll do, but I am Lost in your eyes again It don’t make no sense Got me all askew I can’t keep still I can’t move But I’ve fallen hard You’ve got my my stolen heart There’s nothing left to do But be lost with you Na Na Na But be lost with you I’m lost with you Hey Yeah No one’ll find us two Hey Yeah But kiss me apart under smiling stars You’re the one I love that’s who you are Don’t care what we do, I’m just Na Na Na I am lost with you Na Na Na I am, I am, I am Lost in your eyes again It don’t make no sense Got me all askew I can’t keep still I can’t move But I’ve fallen hard You’ve got my my stolen heart There’s nothing left to do But be lost with you Lost with you! Lost with you! But kiss me apart under smiling stars You’re the one I love that’s who you are Don’t care what we are, We are Lost
5.
Experiment 04:23
You only kiss me when you're drunk I wish I wasn't so hung up Got me under your spell Oh well You've only gone for girls before Every mixed message leaves me torn Could you love me? I can't tell Oh well When you're kissing me It's like my first time When you say my name My world's on fire Is this a one-way street? Some sweet fantasy? Well I want you I don't know if you could want me too I don't know what I'm supposed to do I wish I was different I love you I don't know if you could love me too I don't know what I'm supposed to do I don't want to be an experiment Oh no I can't keep going on like this Hurting myself on every kiss Should I stay or should I go? All that I want is something real And I don't know if you can feel How much of me you own But you hold my hand at all the right times Try to think but I can't, I'm just too high Oh a fool can dream Such sweet fantasies Well I want you I don't know if you could want me too I don't know what I'm supposed to do I wish I was different I love you I don't know if you could love me too I don't know what I'm supposed to do I don't want to be an experiment I don't want to be Frankenstein's monster All alone; just there when you want it I don't want to be an experiment No. But if you think you could I'd love you, yes I would Cause I can't be no different When you're kissing me It's like my first time When you say my name My world's on fire Is this a one-way street? Some sweet fantasy? I love you I don't know if you could love me too I don't know what I'm supposed to do I don't want to be an experiment
6.
I wish a wish I wish the most That you were here and not some lonely ghost Old friend This time I’ll try Let’s pretend That you’re here in my arms You forgive me all my sins And these cracks in my heart Are how the light gets in You’d say, “I love you.” I’d say, “I love you, too.” Oh Yeah Ain’t no walks on eggshells now Make love on imaginary ground And I’ll cry You’ll laugh And ask Me why Cause I’m here, in your arms I forgive you leaving me Now you’re back, we can start To be what we should have been I’ll say, “I love you.” You’ll say, “I love you, too.” And we’ll stay here forever Alone. Together. Oh Yeah I can see it Oh so clear I need you now I need you here Under these crossing stars Here in the dark We’re all we are We’re all we are Here in the dark Here we are All in the dark I wish a wish I wish the most That I were here and not some lonely ghost Old friend This time You’ll try Let’s pretend That you’re here in my arms I forgive you all my sins And these cracks in my heart Are how the light gets in Oh Yeah
7.
Siobhan 05:18
Starlight Hide your fires Don’t try to see my mind tonight Don’t hear my heart Fair is foul Foul is fair I’ll see you when I get nowhere Beyond the dark I’m riding on the carousel Of all my sins remembered well Oh I am in blood I’ve lost all my pretty ones Lost myself in ashes and in mud What dreams may come Nothing I can do That I can do The devil speaks the truth He speaks the truth I want I want I want I want Total eclipse I want I want I want I want To wake up from this Oh Dancing With the ghosts They’re laughing at all my hopes and dreams, a cruel cold shriek Shadows Yellow with tobacco All alone I’m hollow And I can’t breathe Nothing I can do That I can do The devil speaks the truth He speaks the truth I want I want I want I want Total eclipse I want I want I want I want To wake up from this Some days I can see the sun through acid rain but today All I see is dark I see you, through a fog, I miss you, I wish I could come with you with all my heart But today is not my day Today is not my day I’m riding on the carousel Of all my sins remembered well Oh I am in blood I’ve lost all my pretty ones Lost myself in ashes and in mud What dreams may come Nothing I can do That I can do The devil speaks the truth He speaks the truth I want I want I want I want Total eclipse I want I want I want I want To wake up from this
8.
I said, “Let’s talk.” You said, “About what?” And I saw your heart break before my eyes Over coffee I said, “It’s over, I’m sorry, but I love you too much to lie.” Baby I didn’t mean to I didn’t want it go this way You know the truth is just I fell out of love and onto my face (Ooh ooh) I know that I hurt you But maybe I don’t deserve you You’ll find someone to treat you right You know I’ll understand If you don’t don’t wanna be my friend But a piece my heart is yours and a piece yours is mine Baby I didn’t mean to I didn’t want it go this way You know the truth is just I fell out of love and onto my face (Ooh ooh) (Ooh ooh) Now we’re all out of kisses Of midnight laughs and this is The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do But if you love me baby Set me free and one day You’ll find the one that’s out there, he’s out there for you I won’t forget you I don’t regret you I hope you feel the same Baby I didn’t mean to I didn’t want it go this way You know the truth is just I fell out of love and onto my face I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love,I fell out of love (Ooh ooh) (Ooh ooh) (Ooh ooh)
9.
I don’t know why I don’t know why I don’t know why You take away my mind Babe you light my fire And you’re mine m-m-m-mine Is it so crazy to be crazy for you babe You keep the dark away with my name on your lips Shut me up with your kiss Oh Oh Oh Oh The stars shine for us Oh Oh Oh Oh The city sings for us Oh Oh Oh Oh Their fires dance for us Oh Oh Oh Oh And our folie a duex Oh Oh Oh Our folie a duex Lamb for the slaughter you’re the water of my soul And when you take control, I say no, I say no But baby I want more M-m-more more more I say N-n-no D-D-don’t But I want it want Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh (I said) N-n-no D-D-don’t But I want it want Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh (I said) (2 bars) I said Oh Oh Oh Oh The stars shine for us Oh Oh Oh Oh The city sings for us Oh Oh Oh Oh Their fires dance for us Oh Oh Oh Oh And our folie a duex Our folie a duex Babe be my Bonnie I’ll be your Clyde My Sexy Sadie So wrong it’s right So right Baby Oh Oh Oh Oh The stars shine for us Oh Oh Oh Oh The city sings for us Oh Oh Oh Oh Their fires dance for us Oh Oh Oh Oh And our folie a duex Our folie a duex N-n-no D-D-don’t But I want it want Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh N-n-no D-D-don’t But I want it want Doo-doo-daah-doo-dahh
10.
Eyes of blue 03:49
Met him on a trip to the city Hungry with an easy smile Told me that he wanted to kiss me Told me that he liked to play with fire He held me there and when I got scared He stroked my hair, said I love you On the ground with all the stars around He held me down with those Eyes of blue Eyes of blue Those eyes of blue Those eyes of Ha (Oh-Oh) Had him in the dark of an alley Savage kisses, rattling bones Any way he wanted he had me When he was done He got up to go He left me there and when I got scared He pulled my hair said Fuck you too. Walked away and to this day I still recall those Eyes of blue Eyes of blue Those eyes of blue Those eyes of blue Ha (Oh-Oh) Don’t you tell anyone Don’t you tell anyone, no Don’t you tell anyone Don’t you tell anyone, no Saw him on a midsummer evening He leered at me and pulled me down Said he never wanted to leave me Said that he wanted me around He held me there and when I got scared He stroked my hair, said I love you On the ground with all the stars around He kept me down with those Eyes of blue Eyes of blue Those eyes of blue Those eyes of blue
11.
These days 04:03
These days I’m so low I don’t know what to do It feels so different here without you These days I’m so down I don’t remember smiling And I pray that all this time you’ve just been hiding At night I sit and wonder where you’ve gone And why you’ve had to stay away so long And though I know you’ll never hear this song I’ll sing it through ‘Cause honestly since you’ve been gone I forgot how to breathe There is no laughter; no joie de vivre Now that all that’s left of you is memories These days I’m so drunk I don’t know how to cry I see no colours; no open sky These days I’m so fucked I don’t remember why Then I hear your little voice in my mind At night I sit and wonder where you’ve gone And why you’ve had to stay away so long And though I know you’ll never hear this song I’ll sing it through ‘Cause honestly since you’ve been gone I forgot how to breathe There is no laughter; no joie de vivre Now that all that’s left of you is memories
12.
Oh Oh Oh Oh I see the shadows fall around you I can feel you try and I know you do I know nothing I say, takes away this colour of blue But whatever you need baby you got me and I’ll get you through (You know) I will I will Here in my arms you’ll stay until We fall like stars (and I will) Kiss you Kiss you Be everything you need me to We’ll fall like stars Oh Oh Oh Oh This isn’t all that you are You’re so much more than this blue dark I know that you’re numb, that you want to be up, with all you got You’ve got me too, yeah you do (You know) I will I will Here in my arms you’ll stay until We fall like stars (and I will) Kiss you Kiss you Be everything you need me to We’ll fall like stars Oh Oh Oh This is not forever It’s worse before it’s better This is not forever We’ll beat this together More than this I’m proud of you You feel the heat of the sun, the weight of the moon You will You will Here in your arms I’ll stay until We fall like stars (and I will) Kiss you Kiss you Be everything you need me to We’ll fall like stars We’ll sing Oh Oh

about

Written in 2014 and recorded in 2015, this album was set to be released in the summer of 2015 but, due to various unfortunate circumstances, the album was delayed again and again. It is now here in full for your listening pleasure.

credits

released June 1, 2017

Written by Tallan Byram, Calder Mckenna, Ian Penner, and Jay Holdsworth
Recorded and produced by Siegfried Meier at Beach Road Studios
Mastered by Chris Gehringer and Troy Glessner

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Tallan, M.D. Toronto, Ontario

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